I Never Said Thank You For That
by TheOneAndOnlyBellaCullen
Summary: A story of love lost, remembered and found again... When Edward goes back to the meadow to relive and remember his Bella, he soon figures out she's closer than he thinks. Based on "Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World. OneShot. All Human.


****

**So i was recently flicking through songs on my IPod and i came across one of my ALL TIME FAVOURITE songs...**

**It's "Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World. I'm sure most of you have heard of it, but if not you SERIOUSLY need to listen to it! Especially because this oneshot is themed after it...**

**Copy this link into a new taskbar to listen to the song... I feel it's good to listen to it as you read: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=9pQo9OQlIB8 **

**I hope you all enjoy, and i hope i won't make you guys cry...**

**Okay maybe A LITTLE.**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

_There's no-one in town I know..._

_You gave us some place to go..._

My fingers, though cold and unfeeling, ran across the slightly damp, soft feel of the grass below me.

I stared up above me at the blue sky, not a cloud filled it. She always loved the sunshine, I guess that was why a perfect day surrounded me now...

A tribute to my girl.

I shut my eyes for a moment, and her face was in front of mine almost instantly.

She was hovering above me, laughing as her dark brown hair fell around her face and tickled my nose. I tried to reach out to her, hold her close to me as I had once before, but I could feel nothing but the cool air that surrounded my fingers.

Her eyes softened, as if knowing my intention. She knew I wanted to keep her here, so she only shook her head slowly in response, telling me what my heart refused to believe.

She was always so beautiful... I didn't deserve to call her mine, no matter how long I got to keep her for.

_I never said thank you for that..._

_I thought I might get one more chance..._

She stared down at me, and I felt my throat constrict with the pain deep in my heart.

I started to whisper her name, but I couldn't. There was nothing left in me anymore.

Her deep brown eyes, which had one held bucket loads of emotions, only held one now...

Love.

I tried to reflect it back at her, but all I could seem to hold was sadness.

_What would you think of me now?_

_So lucky, so strong, so proud?_

I cracked my eyes open again slowly, the image of her hurting my head and heart too much to sustain it for long.

I glanced around the meadow. It wasn't as pretty now. A few flowers still grew around the edges, and the grass was still green.

But she wasn't here.

I sucked in a breath, watching as our figures appeared across from me.

She was sitting between my legs with her back against my chest. I was reading to her, smiling at she picked at the picnic we'd set up.

I never knew who I was until I found her. I was nobody, a lost soul with no purpose. Until she showed me how good life could be.

_I never said thank you for that..._

_Now I'll never have a chance..._

I watched us for a moment longer, reliving those memories as best I could before the image shifted.

I watched as we gradually grew slightly older together, though still not long enough for my liking. We were seventeen the first time we came here... And only eighteen the last...

She lay in my arms and stared at the darkened sky, whispering how much she loved the night.

"_Give me my Romeo... And when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in the love with night..."_

If only she knew it was her stars that made up the sky now...

_May angels lead you in..._

_Hear you me my friends..._

_On sleepless roads, the sleepless go..._

_May angels lead you in..._

I shut my eyes for a moment longer, only to let the gathering tears squeeze themselves from my eyes and down my cheeks.

I could remember the last time we were here... The day of our graduation...

She'd promised to marry me, promised to give her life to me in all the ways possible.

I didn't mean for her to give it to me in every way.

_So what would you think of me now?_

_So lucky, so strong, so proud..._

The haunting times, the ones I didn't want to remember, had to be the moment she slipped away from me for good...

We'd been driving to the University of Washington.

Sorry, not we... Me.

I'd been driving. I was the careless one. I was the one who didn't see the deer ahead. She'd grabbed the steering wheel, and even now as I laid in this meadow and tried to hold on to the good times, it was the fact that she saved me and gave up her own life for me that always disturbed my every contemplation.

I could hear her screaming, hear her calling my name as she fought to stop my bleeding...

I ran my fingers over the light scar on my abdomen over my shirt, my sobs racking my chest as I struggled for a breath.

She'd pulled off the headband around her hair, and pressed it to my wound, crying for me as I slipped through the stages of consciousness.

She never thought about her injuries.

So when they found us...

I was alive... And she was... Gone.

She saved me.

_I never said thank you for that..._

_Now I'll never have a chance..._

Damn you... Damn you to hell.

I didn't realise I was speaking loudly until I sat up, talking to the air around me as if she was still here, listening to my every word.

"Why couldn't you have let me die? Don't you understand how hard it is to be without you? It's impossible..."

I rested my head in my hands, feeling my palms become wet quickly with the constant fall of tears from my cheeks.

"Damn you Bella..."

I looked up now, and was surprised to find how dark it was...

Night time again. Another day gone.

_May angels lead you in..._

_Hear you me my friend..._

_Sleepless roads, the sleepless go..._

_May angels lead you in..._

A rush of cold air surrounded me and I knew it was only because the night air was descending upon me, but for a moment I let myself imagine it was her...

As if she could reach me in our favourite place...

"I miss you..." I whispered, shutting my eyes as another gust came, letting it take over my body, "Every day..."

_I miss you too..._

"I wish I could hear your voice... Hear you say you love me again... It's been too long..." I wiped at my eyes quickly, feeling my tears wet my lips as the cool air attempted to dry them, "I love you..."

_I love you too..._

"I wish... I wish things were different... I wish I could hold you... I wish I could kiss you... I wish for everything..."

I shook my head, feeling completely idiotic for talking to myself.

Almost straight after, a gentle breeze moved around me, as if sparing me from condemning my insanity.

I looked up at the stars, imaging her watching over me as I spoke. I tried to find the words... The lyrics I knew she loved from her favourite song...

Time hadn't faltered my ability to remember everything about her...

"_And if you were with me tonight..._

_I'd sing to you just one more time..._

_A song for a heart so big..._

_God wouldn't let it live..."_

I could picture us, sitting in the meadow, in this exact spot as I strummed on my guitar, singing those lyrics to her quietly.

I looked around me once more, feeling my sanity slip away with every tear that fell from my cheek, every breath that left my body.

"It hasn't changed much as it, love?" I whispered, "Except you aren't here anymore..."

I picked at some of the grass below me, watching my white, wrinkled fingers grasp it feebly, "It's been sixty seven years, love... Can you believe it?" I hadn't come back here since the day she died... It had been impossible to do...

I shook my head, "I asked you to marry me here today sixty seven years ago... Same day you left me..." I threw the grass away from me slowly, reaching to wipe my tears yet again.

"I'm sorry I haven't come back before... But it's been too hard... I never forgot you... I never forgave you for leaving me..."

I felt like such a child, crying into the sleeve of my cardigan, but what was I supposed to do?

Almost seventy years since I'd stepped onto this land. _Seventy years._

"I don't know why I came back now..." I whispered, "But I feel close to you today..." I glanced up to the dark sky, to the stars that seemed to be waiting for me, "Ready for me yet?" I laughed once, humourlessly, "I've waited long enough... I think it's time for me to go with you..."

I looked down again, tugging on my hair as I argued with myself whether to get up and leave. My hair was still the same tousled mess it had been all those years ago, only now the grey streaks had taken over the bronze...

I moved to lie back again, sighing as I stared at the stars, "I love you Bella..."

I shut my eyes, feeling another cold breeze sweep over me before I found myself drifting off to a deep sleep, away from the thoughts that haunted me.

_May angels lead you in..._

_On sleepless roads, the sleepless go..._

_May angels lead you in..._

_May angels lead you in..._

When I opened my eyes again, it was still dark. I sighed, cursing myself for not being able to sleep longer than a few hours at a time.

I sat up slowly, reaching to wipe my eyes from their tears before I realised they were already gone.

"Edward..."

Her voice, so rich with emotion and love I couldn't help but snap my gaze to the source of it.

Deep in the shadows, where the moon and the stars were only faintly hitting the space of land, I saw an achingly familiar figure standing there...

I got up, quite quickly compared to how I normally would have, and I began walking to her. I blinked and then I blinked again, afraid to speak, afraid to do anything but keep walking...

She would disappear soon...

But instead, she began walking to me, meeting me halfway.

She looked too real to be my visions in my imagination.

I could faintly hear my breathing stutter as she smiled softly. Her brown hair was falling around her shoulders in gentle curls and her eyes were swimming with all the emotions they used to...

She seemed so real...

She was wearing the same white summer dress she'd put on the day of our graduation... The day she left...

"B... Bella?" I couldn't help the tears that formed in my eyes, and as I stared down at her I saw the tears prickle her own.

She only nodded, not saying another word before she reached for my hands, holding them tightly in her warm grasp.

I was touching her.

I never got to touch her... She always left before I got the chance...

I squeezed her hands, letting out a cry as I shut my eyes, shaking my head slowly.

I realised that it was stupid of me to close my eyes, because then she'd be gone... So I opened them again, trying to find my voice to speak.

"Am I dreaming?" I whispered brokenly. I knew I had to be... But it felt so real...

She shook her head, reaching to take my face in her hands, "You're mine now..." She spoke in a hushed voice, "It's time for you to come with me..."

I stared for a moment longer, before the sobs racked my body. I grabbed her and squeezed her tightly to me, vowing to never let her go again.

"Why did you blame yourself? All this time..." She whispered into my ear as I held her, "I did it to save you... I did it so you could make something of your life..."

"But I'm nothing without you..." I spoke back, shaking my head against her.

I opened my eyes after a moment, and felt my eyes widen as I looked at my hands, now smooth and wrinkle-free like they had been... Nearly seventy years ago...

We both pulled back in the same moment and her tear streaked face smiled up at me, "My beautiful Edward..." She reached with one hand to stroke my cheek. It was smooth too and after a hesitant second I realised I was myself again... The eighteen year old boy I longed to hold on to, because Bella was my life then... My angel spoke once more, mesmerizing me with her words, _"Give me my Romeo... And when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in the love with night..."_

I gazed at her for a moment longer, shaking my head in disbelief.

"It's been too long, love..."

"It has..." She nodded her agreement, and I watched in awe as a strand of hair fell from behind her ear, "But we're here now."

I nodded, barely able to speak, "Yeah... We are..."

_I never said thank you for that..._

"Thank you..." I whispered gently, "Thank you Bella."

* * *

**I'm still drowning my tears... Please review and make me happy again :)**


End file.
